I’m exhausted so Rob offered to cook dinner tonight, which is sweet, but I also hate it because it brings out all the control freak parts of me that I can’t stand.
He’s just making something simple, a dish we eat at least once every other week, and I appreciate that he wants to pitch in…but. BUT. There’s this ugly side of me that gets panicky to think about him doing stuff the wrong way, making a huge mess, chopping stuff wrong (i.e. wasting things by chopping them in a way that doesn’t make sure to use every part), not seasoning it right, over/undercooking things, not using proper food safety when handling raw meat (trust me — this one is a legitimate worry), etc etc.
The logical part of me recognizes that most of the things (food safety excluded) I view him as doing “wrong” aren’t necessarily WRONG, just not how I’d do it. But the other part of me is convinced that I (for the most part) have things down to a science to be most efficient/safe/ resourceful and doing things in a way that is less efficient/ safe/ resourceful is a waste of time and resources.
Anyway, the point is, I recognize that I am a control freak and I feel like there is something deeply messed up with me that doesn’t allow me to just kick back and relax and appreciate that my dude is the kind of sweet guy who wants to help out. I haaaaaate this about myself and I want to be better about it but I’m not sure where to start.
I can’t be the only one out there like this, right? Tell me I’m not alone? Or if you’re the kind of saint who doesn’t freak when your partner is in the kitchen doing things DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD DO THEM OMG, what is your secret for being a generally better human being?
OMG THIS IS ME EXACTLY. Any time Lindsey offers to do the dishes (or some other chore) I lose track of the big picture part where SHE IS DOING A NICE THING FOR ME and focus on the THAT’S NOW HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT and it winds up frustrating both of us. Is it being obsessive-compulsive? Something else?
If you figure out how to calm yourself please let me know.
