This happened right across the street from my apartment! I could’ve watched this whole series of hilarious events unfold from my bedroom window!

I’m one to talk though. When I was 8 I was something of a petty larcenist. I used to walk to a liquor store down the street from my apartment to buy baseball cards, chips, soda, candy, etc. One day I went in and bought some baseball cards and on my way out I noticed the guy behind the counter was distracted with other customers so I lifted a small bag of Cheetos and ran out as fast as I could.

I remember reaching the corner and feeling like I’d just pulled off the greatest heist the world had ever seen. Emboldened by success, I went back the next day and tried to steal a can of soda… by putting it under my hat. So I walked up to the counter all casual-like to pay for my baseball cards and the store owner gave me an angry look and asked what was under my hat. He’d had his eye on me the whole time! Even though I thought I’d been so smooth the other day, he actually saw me steal those chips but was going to give me the benefit of the doubt because I came in there a lot and seemed like a good kid. I had obviously disappointed him.

So I gave him a confused look like WHAT EVER DO YOU MEAN? even though I knew I was busted. I reached up and took off my hat and tried my best to think of a plausible explanation for why I was concealing a can of soda under my hat but I wasn’t so quick on the fly. All I could muster was a weak, “What? Now how did that get up there? Heh.” The guy was really not amused and proceeded to ban me from the store for life.

Yeah. I was pretty much the worst 8-year-old criminal ever.

(Source: rawkblog)